Reclaiming This Space

It has been years, literal years, since I have kept a blog. For awhile, Instagram has become a blog for me. Lately, I feel called to reclaim this space. At the very least, it might encourage me to write something every day. I am woefully out of practice and out of touch with the blogging world. Here is my reintroduction.
Some important changes have occurred in my life. In 2017, I graduated from Lesley University with a B. A. in Liberal Arts and a concentration in English. This experienced did not change me per se, but it woke me up to myself. I remembered who I am as an individual apart from all of the roles I fill. I began to use my gifts, recall my worth and abilities, feel the slow burn inside me which I then stoked and nourished back to a steady full burn.
I applied to an MFA in Creative Writing and was not accepted. So, I have decided to spend the next year taking opportunities to meet people and make connections and create opportunities for myself. To improve my writing, I am continuing to read and write, submitting my writing to a variety of publications for their consideration, and looking for writing classes and communities to sign up for and join. I will reapply the MFA Program in the spring.
It is my intention to share writing and my journey to the MFA Program in this space.
On a personal note, my children are now 7 and 4 1/2 and the joy of my life. Pierce (9 year old terrier mix), Lucy (8 month old domestic medium hair kitten) and Maggie (Lucy's mom) are in the mix, too.

like e.e. cummings - no capitals

i am continuously surprised when paralells appear in my life and i wonder what i am supposed to learn from these experiences. someone/s coming into my life and acting out things with me that i am quite certain played out some years ago with someone i used to know. am i being called to change the script? where is the lesson? what is the lesson? is the lesson for me or the other/s involved or all? it is a great way for the universe to get my attention, but to what end? for what purpose am i being called? until i figure it out, i believe these parallels will continue to show themselves to me.

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as i sit here in a cluttered catastraphe of a home, i want to grab trash and recycling bins and rid myself of all of it, but i live with others and this isn't possible. i dont want it to look like a magazine, just nicely, lightly lived in instead of... this... 

for so many reasons, all of which are good for the whole family, we have hired a mothers helper to come in 4-6 hours a week. This will allow me to get homework done, work on my book, tidy the house without interrupting the children's play time, our family weekends, or my sleep.  last week was the first week of this. it was good, but i can't help but feel a bit guilty. my sister who is a mother of five and has had mothers helpers since number 2 came along has informed my that there is "noguilt allowed on that front' and still it nags at me a bit. Yet, my mother's helper will return on thursday and friday this week. i will give it a good month to six weeks and see how it all plays out.

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i have set a new goal for finishing writing the book: January 2015

the semester ends mid-december. 

instead of taking an accelerated class in january, i am taking two accelerated classes in the spring - one for the first 8 weeks and another for the next 8 weeks. 

there is no excuse for not finishing this book by the end of January.

i can do this.

oh, and the two classes i am taking in spring semester are online courses: the art and craft of short fiction (all creative writing) and short fiction (all reading and analyzing short fiction).

exciting and a bit intimidating.

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Instagram has become my blog over the last few months - full of words and photos and words. Search Instagram: #alexandrahanleypielech
There they are - Photos and Words. My photos and words.

I am about halfway through writing my book. Finding time is harder, but I refuse to lose momentum all together. Even if I am the only one who ever reads it or finds worth in it... that will be enough.

School. I went back to school again. I took a class over the summer - Holistic Approaches to Healing - which was a nice way to ease back in.  This semester - Liberation Math. I am aware of how foreign and strange it sounds, but I really like it. There is analysis of ones relationship with math, reading of articles about math and race/math and gender/math education/ and the like, actual math problems. Completely different approach to math. Taking a class a semester, I should finish by Summer 2017. I think it is neat that my children will be there to see me graduate. There are so many ways to navigate life and I want them to know that not only by my words, but by my actions. Tread your own path. Be always growing and learning.

Benjamin will be two in 11 days. He is so quick to laugh, full of energy, lovey buggy, in awe of his big sister, determined, independent... Adored.

Abigail is 4.5 and in pre-k. So smart. So social. So thoughtful. So kind. So creative. So loved. There have been a lot of transitions and sickness and a wedding and Brad traveling for work since she started school and I think that it has made things more challenging so far this school year. We will get our feet under us yet.

I've been spending more one-on-one time with her (above: us on a walk with the dog today) and setting up times to play with her school friends outside of school, in an effort to help her along.

We went to a farm for some Fall Fun today. My feet on the hayride mirror how I have been feeling lately. Partly completely out there moving ahead while also partly reserved, turning inward, finding comfort in myself. Even the shoes - lace - covering up but full of spaces... to let the light in...

I leave you with a few recent photos of Fall in New England and one of me...wearing a scarf... which makes it fall-ish, right?

Lately I have been writing poetry to go with some of my instagram photos.

instagram.com/alexandrapielech

Penned this tonight:

The moon turns into crashing rocks

and quickly turns to dust

Sprinkling down upon the earth

and everyone of us

The sky goes dark but for the stars

I reach for you but its too far

The ebb and flow of the tides is lost

And I've lost you in the chaos

My rock has turned to dust

I run my finger from my knee to my thigh

Gathering you up and gazing at you, marveling at you

Sparkling on my fingertip

Kumare

We just watched the film Kumare in my Holistic Approaches to Healing course. I can not rave about it enough. It is available on Netflix. Watch it with a group of people because it is so thought provoking and you are going to want to discuss it right away.

A peek at some of my thoughts about the film:
Do any of us have the answers? Are the answers different for each of us?

If you can imagine yourself as someone else you can be that person.

We all just want to be seen.

Listening and reflecting people back to themselves helps them to hear their own voice, their inner voice.

We give power to people, things, leaders, and ideas, but we all have the power within us.

If one has someone who believes in one, it makes it easier for one to believe in one's self.

S

Every once in awhile the children spy something in the hidden crevices of our house. Today they saw a piece of our foam ABC floor mat under the radiator. It was an edge piece that they haven't missed, but they were suddenly desperate for me to rescue it. I went to the hall closet for a coat hanger to ease the piece out. Down on my belly on the floor, patiently coaxing the children to give me some space, I pulled out what I thought was the edge, but was in fact the one piece we have been seeking for months - the S. I was stunned. Then I rescued the edge piece that the children had originally spied.

I found the Path of Life bracelet and now the S. All is not lost. In time the pieces come back together in unfathomable configurations at the most unexpected times. Just move the 'unmovable' and explore the unseeable.

Path of Life

I found my Path of Life bracelet today.
I was moving laundry around and my infinity ring escaped my right pinky to free fall into the cozy space between my washer and dryer. I may have yelled "Noooooo!!!!" and I was for sure grumbly about it as I forced the dryer to the right. Once I widened the gap, I was doubly rewarded with my unscathed ring and my Path of Life bracelet blanketed in more than a year of dust and dryer lint.
What a lovely surprise. What a perfect time to find it, too. I am not the straight path kind, but I am finding my way and making choices that feel right to me. Discovering the bracelet again was symbolic for me as I embark on some new old endeavors - namely writing and going back to school again (a class a semester for two years should grant me my B.A.).

Eyes to the sky.