It has been a Joyful July!
I finished up Unravelling: Ways of Seeing Myself with Susannah Conway. I am still reeling from that amazingness.
I launched my new project, Relay Mail. I have put 25 pieces of Relay Mail out into the world so far and will continue to. If you are interested in participating, please email me at relaymailproject@gmail.com and provide your snail mail address or email address and I will make and send you a piece.
My husband will turn 30 on Saturday. This is momentous and mind-boggling for him. I have been planning many festivities for the upcoming weekend. Finally, I feel like it is all coming together. Details to follow, as he reads my blog.
To top off this Joyful July, my best friend will be a mom any day now! She and I have been friends since we were 12. Her husband and my husband have known each other since kindergarten. I am so so so excited to meet the little bit baby girl and so so so over-the-moon for her parents!!!!!
July...Joyful, isn't it?
P.S. August brings The August Break. There is also a link/button in my sidebar. Join us, won't you?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The 10K
No real deep, meaningful words yet. It was humid and hot. I ran the whole thing, no stopping. Even ran by the water stations with my hand out for the water. Finished in 1 hour and 16 minutes. Amazing. For now, the photos (all taken by my husband). Insights will follow at a later time.
Friday, July 2, 2010
1 Going Down, 29 to Go
This weekend is jam packed with fun!
Today I visited with my best friend who has a baby coming soon.
Tomorrow, bike riding with husband.
SUNDAY, I RUN A 10K! That will knock one item of the 30 before 30 List :-)
I promise a full report with pictures on Monday.
Monday, I have to work part of the day, but will be sharing time between the husband and getting together with "the girls."
Happy 4th of July weekend! Enjoy!
Today I visited with my best friend who has a baby coming soon.
Tomorrow, bike riding with husband.
SUNDAY, I RUN A 10K! That will knock one item of the 30 before 30 List :-)
I promise a full report with pictures on Monday.
Monday, I have to work part of the day, but will be sharing time between the husband and getting together with "the girls."
Happy 4th of July weekend! Enjoy!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
How Does Your Garden Grow?
The upstairs neighbors went on vacation and left a weed-filled garden for us to care for.
Yesterday I toiled in the 90 degree heat for two hours to achieve a weed-free, fully-mulched garden.
Weeding was challenging for me emotionally.
"Please release your life-energy back into the earth."
I kept inwardly praying to and for these little plants who grew against the odds.
O.K. I am officially a freak, but I still love myself..
It truly bothered me, though.
I really identify with weeds.
Weeds are actually quite beautiful if you take a moment to appreciate them.
I was also reminded of a poem I read in high school that really resonated with me, and still does:
Yesterday I toiled in the 90 degree heat for two hours to achieve a weed-free, fully-mulched garden.
Weeding was challenging for me emotionally.
"Please release your life-energy back into the earth."
I kept inwardly praying to and for these little plants who grew against the odds.
O.K. I am officially a freak, but I still love myself..
It truly bothered me, though.
I really identify with weeds.
Weeds are actually quite beautiful if you take a moment to appreciate them.
I was also reminded of a poem I read in high school that really resonated with me, and still does:
Identity
by Julio Noboa Polanco
Let them be as flowers,
always watered, fed, guarded, admired,
but harnessed to a pot of dirt.
I'd rather be a tall, ugly weed,
clinging on cliffs, like an eagle
wind-wavering above high, jagged rocks.
To have broken through the surface of stone,
to live, to feel exposed to the madness
of the vast, eternal sky.
To be swayed by the breezes of an ancient sea,
carrying my soul, my seed,
beyond the mountains of time or into the abyss of the bizarre.
I'd rather be unseen, and if
then shunned by everyone,
than to be a pleasant-smelling flower,
growing in clusters in the fertile valley,
where they're praised, handled, and plucked
by greedy, human hands.
I'd rather smell of musty, green stench
than of sweet, fragrant lilac.
If I could stand alone, strong and free,
I'd rather be a tall, ugly weed.
by Julio Noboa Polanco
Let them be as flowers,
always watered, fed, guarded, admired,
but harnessed to a pot of dirt.
I'd rather be a tall, ugly weed,
clinging on cliffs, like an eagle
wind-wavering above high, jagged rocks.
To have broken through the surface of stone,
to live, to feel exposed to the madness
of the vast, eternal sky.
To be swayed by the breezes of an ancient sea,
carrying my soul, my seed,
beyond the mountains of time or into the abyss of the bizarre.
I'd rather be unseen, and if
then shunned by everyone,
than to be a pleasant-smelling flower,
growing in clusters in the fertile valley,
where they're praised, handled, and plucked
by greedy, human hands.
I'd rather smell of musty, green stench
than of sweet, fragrant lilac.
If I could stand alone, strong and free,
I'd rather be a tall, ugly weed.
weed-free garden top view, funny how some of the plants could be mistaken for weeds
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
No T.V. Experiment
About a month/month and a half ago I gave up t.v.*
For me, t.v. has always been an easy escape. I could turn it on and zone out. Suddenly, though, I realized that I was missing my life. It was just flying by day after day and I was ignoring it, I was a bit numb to it.
Why watch other people do things when I could actually be doing things myself?
So, I started doing more. Painting. Writing. Reading (Ava Gardner: "Love Is Nothing"
). Running. Taking photos (Kodak EasyShare MX1063)
. Riding my bike. More... Just everything I love.
It has made a huge difference.
Then I found another distraction.
The internet.
I love checking in on blogs, flickr, taking my e-course, jotting messages on Facebook... I need to use the internet for research while I am writing.
How do I balance my fun use and my work?
I think I need a timer, a little alarm that goes off after an hour of being sucked in link after link. A little alert back to the world around me. "Hey, Alex, wake up to your life!"
It is really wonderful that in eliminating one distraction, one way of disengaging from what is really important, I am becoming more aware of other ways that I do that.
I am determined to eliminate them or at least monitor my use of them, one by one.
P.S. *full disclosure: my husband does watch t.v. So, we watch sports or whatever other programs he has on in the evening. More and more, I find myself picking up a book or my journal or a sketchpad while he has the t.v. on instead of mindlessly following the t.v.
For me, t.v. has always been an easy escape. I could turn it on and zone out. Suddenly, though, I realized that I was missing my life. It was just flying by day after day and I was ignoring it, I was a bit numb to it.
Why watch other people do things when I could actually be doing things myself?
So, I started doing more. Painting. Writing. Reading (Ava Gardner: "Love Is Nothing"
). Running. Taking photos (Kodak EasyShare MX1063). Riding my bike. More... Just everything I love.It has made a huge difference.
Then I found another distraction.
The internet.
I love checking in on blogs, flickr, taking my e-course, jotting messages on Facebook... I need to use the internet for research while I am writing.
How do I balance my fun use and my work?
I think I need a timer, a little alarm that goes off after an hour of being sucked in link after link. A little alert back to the world around me. "Hey, Alex, wake up to your life!"
It is really wonderful that in eliminating one distraction, one way of disengaging from what is really important, I am becoming more aware of other ways that I do that.
I am determined to eliminate them or at least monitor my use of them, one by one.
P.S. *full disclosure: my husband does watch t.v. So, we watch sports or whatever other programs he has on in the evening. More and more, I find myself picking up a book or my journal or a sketchpad while he has the t.v. on instead of mindlessly following the t.v.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Excerpts from a letter
to my 11 year old self:
"...you have the weight of the world on your little being. ... You are going to struggle for some semblance of normalcy...to somehow hold everything steady in the precarious balance. ... Making it up as you go along and your ability to adapt easily to change and new environments, dynamics, and situations will serve you well always."
"...you are holding back lots of feelings and questions that you are desperate to express...you'll do this for many years to come...when you finally release it pain will come, but the release will be beautiful and healing for you...It is not your fault, you know, any of it."
"You think that you have to do things in order to EARN LOVE. ... You are born of love, created of God's love, deserving of love because you ARE LOVE. YOU ARE LOVE. Love is not a commodity to be bought and traded. LOVE IS and It is all around you."
"When things are difficult. When you are out in the world on your own flailing around trying to find the right place to land,
REMEMBER.
Remember the strength and fortitude you have inside after all you've endured.
Remember the good things that have come from the bad. Some of your best traits were developed and strengthened through the struggle.
Remember all of the things that you wanted to do but were unable to due to responsibilities, circumstances and lack of money. Make a list. Make time. Do them.
Remember who you were from birth to 10.5. Love her. Hold on to the 5 year old inside you.. She holds the truth, the key to your purpose here on earth."
"Remember to forgive yourself. It's not your fault."
"...you have the weight of the world on your little being. ... You are going to struggle for some semblance of normalcy...to somehow hold everything steady in the precarious balance. ... Making it up as you go along and your ability to adapt easily to change and new environments, dynamics, and situations will serve you well always."
"...you are holding back lots of feelings and questions that you are desperate to express...you'll do this for many years to come...when you finally release it pain will come, but the release will be beautiful and healing for you...It is not your fault, you know, any of it."
"You think that you have to do things in order to EARN LOVE. ... You are born of love, created of God's love, deserving of love because you ARE LOVE. YOU ARE LOVE. Love is not a commodity to be bought and traded. LOVE IS and It is all around you."
"When things are difficult. When you are out in the world on your own flailing around trying to find the right place to land,
REMEMBER.
Remember the strength and fortitude you have inside after all you've endured.
Remember the good things that have come from the bad. Some of your best traits were developed and strengthened through the struggle.
Remember all of the things that you wanted to do but were unable to due to responsibilities, circumstances and lack of money. Make a list. Make time. Do them.
Remember who you were from birth to 10.5. Love her. Hold on to the 5 year old inside you.. She holds the truth, the key to your purpose here on earth."
"Remember to forgive yourself. It's not your fault."
Monday, June 21, 2010
21 or 22 on island from Make Way for Ducklings
Found this photo today. My husband took it of me and I had forgotten all about it and about this day. On our way to our Valentines lunch at Pho Pasteur on Newbury Street (no longer there), we were walking through the Public Garden. It was February and the pond where the Swanboats float in the summer, was frozen. In an act of spontaneity, we "ice skated" in our shoes and slipped and slid to the island in the middle where it is said Mr. and Mrs. Mallard nested with their babies. It was just beautiful and fun and freeing. I look so easy and breezy. Even in my hat, I look pretty and peaceful. Just love this photo and had to share.
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