Wednesday, June 8, 2011

37 Weeks, 5 Days

That is how far along I was when Abigail was born.

I always had a feeling that she would arrive early, but of her own volition.  I also thought she would be here maybe a week before her estimated due date, but no more. So, I was surprised to meet Abigail at 37 weeks, 5 days gestation.  I was delighted with her, thrilled to meet her, and so thankful that she was healthy and strong and safe.  I hoped that some day Abigail would understand that her early birth was necessary for her safety and for mine, that we made the difficult and informed decision to induce because she would be safer on the outside than on the inside, that the decision was made out of overwhelming, boundless love for her.

I am getting ahead of myself though.

From the time that we decided to open ourselves up to bringing a baby into the world, we took everything as it came (we still take things as they come).  We were very relaxed leading up to and throughout the pregnancy.

I had pregnancy gingivitis.  So, I kept brushing and flossing as directed by my dentist.

I was diagnosed with anemia of pregnancy.  So, I took two iron pills in addition to prenatal vitamins.

At my 37 week OBGYN appointment, I casually mentioned that I had been incredibly itchy all over my body a few days prior, but after a good lathering in cream it passed.  I told her I chalked it up to normal pregnancy itching as skin stretched, but I thought I should mention it any way.  She asked if the palms of my hands and soles of my feet were/had been itchy.  I repeated that EVERYTHING had been itchy, but it passed.  She told me that I might have Cholestasis of pregnancy.  There was a very small chance, but it is a condition that can be dangerous to mom and baby, sometimes ending in "fetal demise"  In order to rule it out, I just had to give a vile of blood.   She reiterated that it was VERY UNLIKELY that I had it as only 1 in 1,000 women develop it.  I said that I agreed it was best to rule it out just to know for sure.  So, I stopped at the in office lab and they took my blood. They told me I would hear from the doctor regarding the results in a few days. I made my regular weekly OB appointment for the next week and headed home.

I wasn't worried.  I probably didn't have it, but if I did have it at least we would know and be able to take the next necessary steps.

It was Thursday and I was 37 weeks, 1 day pregnant.

To be continued....

For more info. on Cholestasis:

So Much Snow Much

 I wrote this so long ago and it is incomplete, but I wanted to post it anyway.  Funny to post it in the middle of a heat wave here in New England.  98 degrees expected  tomorrow!!!!!

Another snowy day here in Massachusetts.  I feel like January has been one gigantic blur of a snowstorm.

I don't mind the snow or the cold so much.  What I mind is not being able to help clear it all up.  My husband dutifully goes out and clears the driveway, starts and clears off my car, and puts down the doggie safe icemelt.

EVERY TIME IT SNOWS (which is mighty often these days), we have a conversations that goes roughly like this:

Me: "I want to come out and help you.  Don't over do it.  I don't want you to hurt yourself.  Maybe I could just come out and clear the porch and the stairs..."

Husband:  "Alex, you are pregnant."

Me: "Yeah, but I could do just a little..."

Husband: "Alex, you're pregnant."

Me:  "I am pregnant, but still able bodied."

Husband:  "Ok, you can help. (I get really excited, momentarily)  Please unlock the basement door so that I can get out the snowblower.  (I agree, but still feel badly that I can't do more.  All this comes out in a pouty face)  Alex, you're pregnant."

There must be women who shovel when they are pregnant to no adverse effect.  What did they do "back in the day"?  What about single moms who have no other choice?  I feel stronger, more powerful, and more in awe of my body than ever.  I want to use it.  The will, the spirit is there.

Then I get grateful.  Grateful that I ave a partner who cares for me.  Grateful that I get to stay inside and blog, do dishes, cuddle with the puppy.  Grateful that the baby is growing healthy and strong inside me (why potentially mess that up?).

Friday, June 3, 2011

Introducing Me As Mom

Abigail arrived on March 21, 2011. 321...11, pretty cool birthday to have, I think.  It was the first day of Spring and the Super Moon.  She arrived 2 and a half weeks early at 12:10 a.m., peaceful.  She did not cry until they started poking and prodding her, but was breathing just fine and was a 9 on her APGAR.

So, I am officially a Mother.

As I type, she sleeps peacefully against my chest.  Now and again I take a moment to stroke her full head of hair, kiss her soft spot, and breath in her baby scent. So precious.

I am so thankful to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM). It has been a slow process, but we are beginning to get into a groove.  I don't dare say routine, because it changes every day, but I feel like every day I get closer to being able to balance housework and baby activities.  Time to do things like blogging, writing, painting, or sewing is still hard to come by, but I am attempting to begin phasing it in.

This transition time is precious and full of lessons, though, and for all of it I am grateful.  I have always wanted to be a mother and have lots of experience with children of various ages, but nothing prepares you for having a child of your own.  It is challenging and beautiful and so many other things at any given moment of the day. Miraculous, always.  The gift of being able to take this all slowly and figure it out as we go along is amazing and all possible thanks to my hard-working, understanding, helpful husband. 

My thoughts are so fragmented, but I am blogging dang it! ;-)

Some of the topics I hope to write about soon:
Cholestasis of Pregnancy
Postpartum Exercise
A Wedding
Doggy Swimming Lessons
Baby Wearing

Glad to be back and hoping it lasts!

Monday, January 10, 2011


Since becoming pregnant, I have not wanted to blog.  I don't know why, but I guess it is just that I'm changing.  Everything is changing and I don't want to miss a moment of that change.  I want to be entirely present in my life and for the life that is growing inside me.  I guess I am in a period of transition... and words fail me... I just feel instead.

This coming Wednesday marks the start of my 28th week, the third trimester.  I can hardly believe it.  This pregnancy has been amazing, as all pregnancies are, I imagine.  We did not know that I was pregnant until I was on the cusp of the 2nd trimester.  I have felt well (some nausea, always remedied by eating).  Despite my being on the low end of weight gain, the baby is growing and measuring as the baby should.  Blessings, too numerous to count.

I am changing in mind and body.

Our house is changing, too.  My husband seems to be "nesting", has anyone else experienced this phenomenon with their partner?  He is going room by room, getting everything "just so" for the baby.  I am taking bags of give-aways to the thrift store weekly.  Our shredder is getting quite the work out as we empty our three two-drawer file cabinets with the goal of whittling it down to one.  The office is well on its way to becoming the baby's room.  Our accumulation of "stuff" is giving way to make space for the baby.

I have been thinking and thinking about this next statement... Our relationship is changing, too.  It is still strong and loving and collaborative and... as it should be... as we want it to be... It is changing, but only getting better.  Changing in the best way.  It is just a feeling, no words.

We are becoming.  I am becoming.  He is becoming.  The baby is becoming.

Change has never been more real or more welcome.