No T.V. Experiment

About a month/month and a half ago I gave up t.v.*

For me, t.v. has always been an easy escape.  I could turn it on and zone out.  Suddenly, though, I realized that I was missing my life.  It was just flying by day after day and I was ignoring it, I was a bit numb to it.

Why watch other people do things when I could actually be doing things myself?

So, I started doing more.  Painting.  Writing. Reading (Ava Gardner: "Love Is Nothing"). Running.  Taking photos (Kodak EasyShare MX1063).  Riding my bike.  More... Just everything I love.

It has made a huge difference.

Then I found another distraction.

The internet. 

I love checking in on blogs, flickr, taking my e-course, jotting  messages on Facebook...  I need to use the internet for research while I am writing.

How do I balance my fun use and my work? 

I think I need a timer, a little alarm that goes off after an hour of being sucked in link after link.  A little alert back to the world around me. "Hey, Alex, wake up to your life!"

It is really wonderful that in eliminating one distraction, one way of disengaging from what is really important, I am becoming more aware of other ways that I do that.

I am determined to eliminate them or at least monitor my use of them, one by one.

P.S. *full disclosure: my husband does watch t.v.  So, we watch sports or whatever other programs he has on in the evening.  More and more, I find myself picking up a book or my journal or a sketchpad while he has the t.v. on instead of mindlessly following the t.v.

Out on a Limb

My latest creation and something to think about.


Have a beautiful weekend!

In between

Sitting at Melissa's graduation yesterday, listening to the long list of graduates names being called, I began drawing.

On the occasion of MP's Graduation - 5/19/2010

Inbetween the lines on the tree I wrote:

"Its all in the inbetween, the seams, the knowing
Fill in the dark hole and make it light brighter
and brighter with the untapped energy
you possess, the gifts unused
Use your energy to shine light
to bring love, untold amounts of love
to the world - unleash your heart"

Being at the graduation was wonderful.  I was so happy to be there with Melissa and celebrate her and her accomplishments.  Summa Cum Laude.  Salutatorian.  Survivor.  To witness someone achieving one of their dreams is...breath-taking.

At times, it was difficult.  I have a different story when it comes to higher education.  I have attended the university from which Melissa graduated and may some day graduate from there myself as my story is not over.  There was no jealousy, no wishing it was me up there, no longing.  My dreams are of a different sort and I believe that I have the power to achieve them without a degree.  As they say, "There is more than one way to skin a cat."  I am taking things day by day, doing a little bit every day to get where I would like to be, and trusting that my path is unfolding as it should.

What made it difficult was people asking me when I was going to graduate, telling me not to take it slowly,  telling me that next year I would be up on the stage graduating even if they had to drag me to class themselves.

Those comments are not about me at all.  They are about the people from which they came.

While I am sure that the commentators love me and meant the things they were saying to be encouraging, they were not.

I leaned over to my husband and whispered how thankful I am for his full acceptance of me and support of the unconventional path I am treading. I told him that one day I would get an honorary degree for all of the amazing things I am going to accomplish while no one is watching.

The comments that were made were about what the people saying them want for me, not at all about what I want for myself.

As humans, I believe that most of us find it extraordinarily difficult to separate what we want from what others want.  Our desires for ourselves and how we envision our lives and the people who orbit around us, seep into everything and muddy the reality of who the people in our lives really are and what they really want. Instead of trying to make the people in our lives fit into the mold we have created for them, I believe we would be better served by supporting them in becoming more of who they are.  In doing so, I believe we would tap into unceasing pools of love and be changed for the better ourselves.

I am the in between.
The blinding light comes through me.
Open the shades.

Art Therapy

Recently, my sister-in-law, Melissa, has been coming over for dinner and conversations and energy healing and soul searching and the like... basically, love.

Next month, Melissa graduates from college with a degree in Art Therapy and all kinds of awesome concentrations and minors.  Last Thursday, we did a little art therapy together.  Her basic advice was to just put the chosen art tool to the paper and see what flows out.  "There is no 'wrong' way."

I found it amazingly freeing and felt deeply relaxed and clear when we were done.  I have a sense that the art that comes out of it isn't the point of the exercise... getting the feelings out is ..., but I'll share anyhow.

Several times since, I have had moments where I feel the need to put colored pencil to paper and have taken a moment to do so and felt so much better for it. 

Give it a try!