to my 11 year old self:
"...you have the weight of the world on your little being. ... You are going to struggle for some semblance of normalcy...to somehow hold everything steady in the precarious balance. ... Making it up as you go along and your ability to adapt easily to change and new environments, dynamics, and situations will serve you well always."
"...you are holding back lots of feelings and questions that you are desperate to express...you'll do this for many years to come...when you finally release it pain will come, but the release will be beautiful and healing for you...It is not your fault, you know, any of it."
"You think that you have to do things in order to EARN LOVE. ... You are born of love, created of God's love, deserving of love because you ARE LOVE. YOU ARE LOVE. Love is not a commodity to be bought and traded. LOVE IS and It is all around you."
"When things are difficult. When you are out in the world on your own flailing around trying to find the right place to land,
Remember the strength and fortitude you have inside after all you've endured.
Remember the good things that have come from the bad. Some of your best traits were developed and strengthened through the struggle.
Remember all of the things that you wanted to do but were unable to due to responsibilities, circumstances and lack of money. Make a list. Make time. Do them.
Remember who you were from birth to 10.5. Love her. Hold on to the 5 year old inside you.. She holds the truth, the key to your purpose here on earth."
"Remember to forgive yourself. It's not your fault."