Lately, I have been posting quotes and poems more than I have been sharing my own thoughts and pieces I have written.
Where are my words?
When are they going to come back?
What is holding me back?
Who knows better, can say better what I am feeling and thinking than me?
How can I tap the well of my feelings and thoughts so that I can express them in my own words again?
I don't believe in "I don't know."
I think that lately I am more visual. More inclined towards drawing, painting, and collage'ing' through my feelings.
I am also seeking answers through reading things that catch my eye, come to me in dreams, and fall off of shelves onto my feet.
I've been spending time cleaning my house, sorting through documents and photos and long forgotten possessions, and in the quiet of that I have found some clarity, some peace, a way to hear, to listen to what I need and to let go of the things I do not.
I find it difficult to write about the things I have been doing, this transformation I am going through, what has been happening to me, in me. I post my photos and the quotes and poetry of others in the hope that they will convey my state of being on any given day at any given moment. When I find these words, these gifts, I quickly gather and post them in hopes of preserving them and it comes from a desire to share the gifts I have been given by the world with the world.
My writings are a gift, too. My thoughts are a gift, too. Not sharing my gifts, my talents, my authentic self, is a disservice.
Ill get there. By writing this post, I am getting there.
I'm finding the words.